The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSHoward Wolowitz Quotes
Howard: You're full of estrogen and you don't act like that.
Bernadette: That's 'cause I'm a woman. I've had years of practice riding the dragon.
Raj: Why are you on a diet?
Howard: I've put on a couple pounds. I buy these pants in the men's section.
Raj: Well, we've all seen your mom. That Butterball turkey was bound to come home to roost.
Howard: What were they thinking putting Doctor Octopus's mind in Spider-Man's body?
Raj: Well, I've been quite enjoying that. It combines all the superhero fun of Spider-Man with all the body-switching shenanigans of Freaky Friday. Both versions: original and Lohan.
Howard (imitating Raj): "Both versions: original and Lohan."
Howard: There's a party for incoming post-docs tonight. Go to it and meet someone who isn't made of grease or pie.
Raj: You think you're so cool because your wife is a person?
And, space beats water.
Howard: When this all blows over, remember that voice. It's kind of a turn-on.
Bernadette: It turns you on when I sound like Raj?
Howard: Son of a bitch, she's gone.
Bernadette: Where'd she go?
Howard: I don't know. She didn't leave a note.
Bernadette: You were the one who was supposed to put her back in the stroller!
Howard: No, I wasn't! You were!
Bernadette: No, I wasn't!
Howard: Yes, you were!
Bernadette: Well, you throw like a girl.
Howard: Classy dog.
Raj: Yes. Also, don't forget to close the toilet or she'll drink out of it.
Howard: I feel for ya I have a psychotic mommy, too.
Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton says, "There is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin."
Leonard: And, he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.
Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.
However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it.
Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.
