Dwight: Thanks for inviting me along.
Michael: Oh, sure. Really didn't give it any thought. Wait, should you be going? [phone rings] Heh-woh you.
Jan: Michael?
Michael: Hey, Buttercup.
Jan: Hi.
Michael: I am on my way. I should be there in about 15...
Jan: Let's just blow this party off.
Michael: That's what she said.
Jan: Am I on speaker phone?
Michael: Uh, yes you are.
Jan: Is anybody else in the...
Dwight: Hello, Jan.
Jan: Hi, Dwight.

Michael: I love you, Jan.
Jan: Okay.

I am taking a calculated risk. What's the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside... I date Michael Scott publicly and collapse in on myself like a dying star. Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my god, what am I saying?

Michael: So you don't want to end our relationship?
Jan: I'm closer to firing you.
Michael: That is so sweet. You are the best GD girlfriend in the world. Do you know that?
Jan: I'll talk to you later.
Michael: You are. You are.

And where it asks you to state your business he wrote, "Beeswax, Not Yours, Inc."

Michael: Jan? You complete me.
Jan: ... Oh god.

Jan: Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our company's future.
Michael: Oh really, what role is that? King of the stupid universe?

Jan: A small number of people will be transferred to the Stamford branch, and the rest will be getting severance packages.
Michael: Am I a small number person or a severance package person?
Jan: Well, we haven't made final decisions about personnel yet... but you're a severance package person.

Jan: I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch.
Michael: I don't understand.
Jan: The board voted last night to close your branch.
Michael: On whose authority?
Jan: The board's.

Jan: So, I wanted to let you know that we lost Ed Truck.
Michael: Oh-kay, let me see if I have his cell. Is this the only reason you are calling Jan or does somebody miss me?
Jan: Michael, Ed died over the weekend.
Michael: Oh, wow.

Jan: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on earth would it do that?
Michael: People work faster after.
Jan: Magically?
Michael: No. They have to, to make up for the time they lost ... watching the movie.
Jan: No.

Do I have to hire a babysitter for you, Michael? Some little 14 year old girl whose job it is to limit...

Jan

The Office Quotes

Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Jim: Baquette.
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Jim: Eww.
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.

Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.

Darryl