Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCJay Pritchett Quotes
Gloria: Men need their hobbies. Manny's father had many hobbies like hiking in the desert, that kind of skiing where they drop you from the, how do you say in English? [Makes helicopter sounds]
Jay: Helicopter.
Gloria: Yes. Once on a dare, he even boxed with an alligator.
Jay: Wrestle, you wrestle... you can't box with alligators.
Gloria: You sure?
Jay: How would they get the gloves on their little claws?
Gloria: Aren't they like tiny little hands?
Jay: No! Okay, now I forgot what we were talking about.
Gloria: Anyways, hobbies are important for the men. Whether you're risking your life, or flying little planes from a safe distance
Manny: I wish I could stay home with you and fly toy airplanes.
Jay: These aren't toy airplanes, Manny. These are models and they're very complicated. You wanna fly one of these, you gotta be familiar with air foyle, drag, lift and thrust, and these are all principles of aerodynamics.
Manny: The box says twelve and up.
Jay: What?!
Gloria: You can fly toy planes with Jay next time. Today you have to spend time with Luke.
Manny: Why?
Gloria: Because his mother invited you, so you go. Family needs to be close, right Jay?
Jay [looking at the box]: I'm pretty sure this is a typo
90 percent of being a dad is just showing up
The only way his dad is like superman is that he landed in this country illegally
Manny [about his father]: He's not afraid of anything, he doesn't wear a seat belt when he drives. He killed a bear once
Jay: Oh yeah? Was the bear in the passenger seat?
Gloria [about Manny]: It's good, he keeps us grounded
Jay: Like a fog at a airport
Jay: I'll give you fifty dollars if you don't go through with this.
Manny: I'm eleven.. What am I going to do with money?
Jay: What are you going to do with a sixteen year old?
Manny: She has a boyfriend.
Gloria: Ohh I'm sorry mi niño
Manny: I gave her my heart and she gave me a picture of me as an all time Sheriff. That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it?
Gloria: No mi amor, It was brave right Jay, brave.
Jay: Well well, you'll know better next time, come on let's get a pretzel
Gloria: We're very different, he's from the city, he has big big business and I come from a small village, very poor but very very beautiful. It is the number one village in all Colombia for all the, what's the word?
Jay: Murders.
Gloria: Yes, the murders
If you put on a puffy, white shirt and declare your love for a 16-year-old, you're gonna be swinging from a flagpole in your puffy, white underpants
