Jay Pritchett Quotes
Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!
Jay: I’m waiting for a phone call from my doctor’s office. Please rate your prostate exam. Would you say you were satisfied?
Gloria: I hope you weren’t!
Jay: Hi hunnie.
Gloria: I got in trouble.
Jay: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.
I think I’m recording the game but you can never know. The last time I got 6 hours of Bravo.
Jay: Why do you look like that when I look like this?
Manny: My friends say it’s because of your money.
I'm fine, he's only one. I watched him pee into his own face and smile.
Jay: Trees are like women, the best ones make you work just a little bit harder.
Manny: She’s just not that into you.
Closet Con is the premiere North American trade show for the closet industry. I stopped going years ago because it’s a trade show for the closet industry.
He's a weird man. He's like Phil except I have to pay for him.
A thousand therapists couldn't do what Gloria did for me.
Manny: Wow that was very mature of you.
Jay: Yeah well I'm a lot older now than when she started getting dressed.
Manny: She's having her hair blown out.
Jay: That's a thing? That I pay for?