Jeff Winger Quotes
Abed: Jeff, I have to make some adjustments to my film, you'll play my father
Jeff: I don't want to be your father
Abed: Perfect, you already know the lines
Jeff: Hey troy sneezes like a girl
Troy: How about I pound you like a boy... that didn't come out right
Britta: That was one of the worst things I have ever seen. Which I guess makes being a part of it a pretty selfless, so I'm impressed
Jeff: How do you know I didn't do it just to get another shot with you?
Britta: Cause a smart man like you would know that no woman in that class would be able to look at you as a sexually viable candidate ever again
Senor Chang: Why are there costumes? These are supposed to be short conversations, they're not supposed to.
Jeff: Take your breath away?
Britta: I was a little too harsh on you, I'm not perfect
Jeff: I am, I'd be happy to show you the ropes
The woman I kind of like is out there in the moonlight caring about something stupid. This my chance to show her I care enough to act like I care about it too
Pierce: Let's have one drink before we work ... to the empowerment of words
Jeff: To the irony of that sentence
Pierce: I can't have children. I'm not sterile. In fact, it's a rare condition they call it hyper virility. Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg if you can believe it
Jeff: I can't, but you can, so that's fine
Pierce: Why don't we go get a beer? I'll give you some advice and we can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest
Jeff: I'm not much of a sausage guy, maybe next time, Pierce
The truth is my life is emptier than this three ring binder. Annie, do you have any Spanish notes that might fit in there? Double spaced? Thank you. What's a guy gotta do to get a "C" around here?
Jeff: You did seem less into integrity the day that I convinced 12 of your peers that the day you made a U-turn on the freeway and tried to order chalupas from the emergency call box, that your only real crime was loving America.
Professor Duncan: Well, I do love America. I love it very much. I love chalupas.
We're the only species on Earth that observes Shark Week.
