That's what worries me about this guy, he's equal parts Hanson and Manson.

Merry Christmas everyone. The Glee club just became the History club.

Shirley I'm gonna be perfectly blunt with you, the few times you've been a little bad are when I liked you the most.

Shirley you wouldn't get it. It's not a fresh baked pie thing.

Pierce: The question is who am I doing this weekend?
Jeff: He's asking because he's already forgotten. It's nobody.

I have worn this stupid thing for twelve days! I have made bald friends!

We've all been there which is why we're all here.

I always go the extra mile to avoid doing things.

You hear that? That's not a heart monitor, it's a machine telling me I'm low on khakis.

With all do respect sir, I have zero respect for you.

After you said Britta was right, everything sounded like one big foghorn.

Jeff: What's that complex called when you're wrong about everything?
Britta: Ah sarcasm, from the man with the mother of all daddy issues.

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: How much effort am I worth?
Jeff: I'd break a light sweat.