I'm sure it's not biggie, but I'm a horny man so I'm only half present.

I'm no sociopath, I always know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work, and getting yelled at. So if you think about it, I'm the sanest person here.

I'm sorry, you were about to get ridiculous?

I can't believe there are two mahogany bunkbeds in there. I bet that cost you a few allowances.

Jeff: Oh look! Indiana Jones and the Apartment of Perpetual Virginity.
Troy: Chops busted fellow adult, chops busted.

Jeff: You're pathological.
Annie: It's too late for flattery.

You're just a good grade in a tight sweater.

Annie stop. You're acting like a little school girl and not in a hot way.

Wow, Annie. How progressive of you to have a multicultural evil twin?!

Jeff: We've parted ways with our closest, oldest, craziest, most racist, oldest, elderly crazy friend. And he's not coming back.
Pierce: I'm back!

It's a scary, Chang-filled world out there.

I think time flies when you're joking around about movie titles that sound like names for poop.

Community Quotes

Why name your daughter Megan? Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?


Jeff: You started having sex with Britta's ex-boyfriend!
Annie: What? We haven't even kissed.
Pierce: That doesn't mean you're not having sex.