Favorite Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
George: I'm emotional!
Jerry: That's right. You're emotional!
Jerry: Come in (the coffee shop) for two minutes and sit with me.
George: I was just in there. It's embarrassing.
Jerry: Oh, who's gonna know?
George: They saw me walk out.
So, anybody leaves anything here, you can just take it? You have a license to steal? You are like the James Bond of laundry?
Jerry: (about the laundromat's "Not Responsible For Items Lost Or Stolen" sign) Oh, I see, so you put up a sign and you can steal whatever you want. You're not a part of society.
Laundromat Owner: That's right, cause this is my country, I'm the president, and that's my constitution: "I'm not responsible."
Kramer: Well Newman jumped last night.
Jerry: What? Did you talk to him? What did you say?
Kramer: I said 'Wave when you pass my window.'
Jerry: My guys don't know your guys! You can't just lock 'em all in the same machine together! They'll start a riot!Kramer: Have you ever met my guys?Jerry: No, I can't say as I have.Kramer: We-ell!
You got a "mickey" source?
George: I don't think anyone's turned down an apartment because of a weak shower spray.
Jerry: If they were fanatic about showers, they might.
George: For that rent, she'd take a bath in the toilet tank if she had to.
Donna: I asked some friends of mine this week, and all of them liked the commercial.
Jerry: (sarcastic) Boy, I bet you got a regular Algonquin round table there.
(as George picks up a broken piece of his father's car) You know, a lot of these scratches will buff right out...
He saw that show on anorexia last year; ate like a pig for two weeks!
George: What should I do, Kramer?Jerry: Well for one thing, don't listen to him.