That's for sucker MCs, and west coast punks.

I'm single and sufficient.

Emotionally they may not be available, but socially they are.

Melanie Farts, signed five times.

You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.

Everyone has had sex in my room!

What is this? The last night of drama camp?

I want to thank everyone for an amazing dinner. Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly good toast.

I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?

I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

It's like my hearing is what a dog hears.

New Girl Quotes

I know this isn't gonna end well, but the middle part is gonna be awesome.


I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"