Kelly: Well I manage my department, and I've been doing that for several years now, and God I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way.
Jim: Your department's just you right?
Kelly: Yes Jim, but I am not easy to manage.

Dwight: I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior.
Jim: I promiseeeeed other people that I'd be on my worst behavior, and I gave 'em my word so...

Wow you've really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic.

Jim: Hey you got a second?
Deangelo: Yeah, I got tons of time. This job's a joke.

Tomorrow I can tell you what a great boss you turned out to be. Best boss I ever had.

Michael: Am I doing the wrong thing?
Jim: Absolutely not. It's just that sometimes, goodbyes are a bitch.

You guys are filming people when they go to the bathroom now?

CeCe if you're watching this at home, it's way past your bed time. By the way, how'd this get televised?

I don't understand the desire to push sweet potato fries on me. I just want regular fries.

Deangelo: You sir, we having fun tonight?
Jim: Having a great time.
Deangelo: Oh good, good. Where were you on September 11th?

They don't ever talk about careers that were MADE because of unplanned pregnancies.

Michael: I want this to be an event that everyone talks about always and forever.
Jim: Totally reasonable.

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of SoCo, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more SoCo, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight Bs. They called me Buzz.

Andy