Kat: There is a code, Will. Chicks before sticks.
Will: I thought it was Bros before hoes?

Will: You're a good friend.
Kat: And you're acting like a moron! Smarten up and be nice to Joanna.

Nobody puts Joanna in a corner.

Ivanka: Your dress is perfect.
Kat: Oh, really?
Ivanka: So dowdy. Almost like a tortured pilgrim growing that hair all dry and desperate for highlights. I love it. You're the perfect victim.

Kat: I want that man to feel pain!
Darryl: I must admit it is thrilling to watch you finally getting angry, Kat. And I love cooking up revenge strategies, but... there is a certain breed of people who plays this game better than others.
Kat: Mafia?

You know what?! We live in a town with all kinds of silly, witchy, tourist-y bull crap. This is got to be related somehow. It's just another silly, witchy, tourist-y, bull-crappy symbol.

Kat: (to Joanna) I can't believe you went to a whorehouse.
Roxie: (to Kat) I can't believe you had sex in a public pool!

(looking at Kat in the sexy red dress) I have lady wood.


I'm really sick of this town, with its dumb, old legends and myths. Witches and water. It just makes us all seem like dumb, gullible hicks.

I'm starting to think that you're married to that hammock.

Eastwick Quotes

(voiceover) Sometimes, those with the most powerful abilities are hiding in the most unlikely places.


Chicken hands, you gonna stare at my boobs all day or you gonna buy something?