(to Rigsby) You're not getting enough sex from Van Pelt.

Cho: Bosco's team calls us Bert and Ernie.
Rigsby: You knew that, and you didn't say anything?
Cho: It would bother you.
Rigsby: It doesn't bother you?
Cho: No.
Rigsby: Why not?
Cho: Ernie's the clever, handsome one.

Cho: Nice. I could arrest you for that.
Jane: You'll never take me alive, copper.
Cho: Seriously.
Jane: Seriously, it's Marilyn and Charlie. What, do you want to make a comedy arrest, see your name written in the weird news section?

Cho: How is he?
Lisbon: Guess what, he's a bad patient.
Cho: Who would've thought.
Jane: I'm not a bad patient. She's a bad visitor.

Cho: You didn't steal jewelery from her?
Natalie: Please. She dresses like a Mormon call girl. I wouldn't wear her jewelery if you paid me.

Grace: (about Mr. Wolcutt) He's also the type that would hire other people to do his dirty work.
Cho: Yes, he is. Hitmen aren't cheap and they don't take credit cards.

Cho: When did you first meet Paul Fricke?
Woman: At a wine tasting event a friend was throwing.
Cho: And how long were you and he romantically involved?
Woman: Um, three, maybe four hours.

Mr. Wolcutt: I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Cho: (decidedly unimpressed) That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.

Kimball: Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.
Teresa: So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell?
Kimball: Pretty much.

Ben Machado: I didn't know you guys were cops.
Kimball Cho: You thought we were selling magazine subscriptions?

Kimball: Hey, do you wanna go to work or do you wanna play nurse with King Tut?
Grace: Work. Definitely work.

Ben: Someone's framing me.
Kimball: Somebody framed you for shooting at us, Mr. Machado? Because from where I stood, sure looked like it.
Ben: That was a misunderstanding. I didn't know who you guys were. I was defending myself.
Kimball: Really? From whom?
Ben: From someone trying to kill me. Just like they killed Rich and tried to kill Trey.
Kimball: And why would you be next on someone's "To Burn"-list?

The Mentalist Quotes

Lisbon: How are the kids?
Rigsby: Sticky mostly.

Jane: You look marginally rested.
Lisbon: I was hoping to actually get to REM sleep tonight.