Red: Pork chops? I thought we agreed do stick to a budget! Pork chops aren't cheap!
Kitty: Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy!

Red: No, I'm not going over there. That's final. I am not Santa Claus.
Kitty: Well, thank God you're not Santa Claus, Red. You scare the hell out of children.

Red: (bleep) Damn it! I am tired of being (bleep) Santa Claus! Steven, you get your (bleep) together and you get your ass in the (bleep) damn car! We're going! (bleep) Now (bleep) damn it! Move it!
Hyde: Okay.
Kitty: You are just the sweetest man alive.
Red: (bleep)!

Kitty: Now, Jackie, have you ever made a pie before?
Jackie: No, I don't really cook much. I just plan on getting by on my looks.

Red: Are you on dope? Are you?
Kitty: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization--
Red: My foot kicking your ass.

Red: We're going to kill each other.
Kitty: Well, fine. Kill each other. Just do it together.

Kitty: Honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag. Now, um, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?
Eric: Donna's Italian.

Kitty: Eric, what are you doing? It's one o'clock in the morning.
Eric: I'm just finishing up some homework. What are you doing down here?
Kitty: Oh, well, Snow White came down to gun a stick. (Kitty lights a cigarette)

Kitty: I don't know if we have enough ice, Eric took a whole tubful.
Red: He took a tub of ice?
Kitty: Oh, the kids are making a volcano!
Midge: Right, that's why Donna left with all the plastic cups.
Red: Plastic cups?
Midge: Sure, plastic volcano cups.
Bob: If I didn't know better, I'd say they were having a kegger! (looks at Red) Oh Jeez!

All families are embarrassing; and if they're not embarrassing, they're dead.

Red: So, how's your friend, Janice?
Laurie: Pregnant.
Kitty: Oh, she was such a nice girl, how would that happen?
Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus, where it attaches to the wall--

Kitty: So, what do you want for your birthday?
Red: Whatever you want. Money is no object, as long as it's reasonable.
Eric: I want a cassette player for the car. A cassette player, not an 8-track. Not an 8-track, okay?
Kitty: Why don't they put record players in cars?
Red: Okay, Eric, if you don't want an 8-track, you won't get one.
Kitty: Oh, but Red, he wants one.
Eric: No, I don't. I don't want an 8-track.
Red: We'll get you a Delco. A genuine GM part for a genuine GM car.

That 70's Show Quotes

Ricky: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Eric: Fatso Burger.
Fez: Covered in gold chains!
Kelso: Rock star. No, a movie star No, wait. Yeah. Rock star.
Hyde: Prison.

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.