(to his cat) If I wanted your asshole on my mouth, I'd do it while you were asleep!

• Permalink: If I wanted your asshole on my mouth, I'd do it while you were asleep!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krieger: Do you ever want to walk again?
Gillette: No, because this way I never have to buy new shoes.
Krieger: Yeah, but is that worth it?

• Permalink: Do you ever want to walk again? No, because this way I never h...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Archer: Where's Lana?
Krieger: I'm not even 100% sure where I am right now. (gets shot with a tranquilizer for the 3rd time by Archer)
Archer: (to tranquilizer gun) You are my new favorite thing

• Permalink: to tranquilizer gun You Are my New Favorite Thing
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krieger: I needed help disseminating him.
Cheryl: Eww!
Pam: Not what it means.
Lana: Still pretty gross though.

• Permalink: I needed help disseminating him. Eww! Not what it means. S...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gillette: Yes, I piss and shit in a bag.
Krieger: Me too!

• Permalink: Yes, I piss and s**t in a bag. Me too!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krieger: I'll be your doctor.
Lana: Well, if I want Hitler's DNA spliced into him, I'll give you a call.
Kriger: Yeah, I'm around.

• Permalink: Yeah, I'm around.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

You'd be amazed what you people do when you think you're alone. Cyril.

• Permalink: You'd be amazed what you people do when you think you're alone. Cyril.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ray: This quit being funny two hours ago!
Krieger: It's not supposed to be funny.

• Permalink: It's not supposed to be funny.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krieger: I think it's some unholy adolescent human amphibian hybrid creature.
Kreiger clones: Yes.
Krieger: I'm home! I'm finally home!

• Permalink: I'm home! I'm finally home!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

And by the way, if I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler, wouldn't I look like Adolf goddamn Hitler?!

Kreiger

• Permalink: And by the way, if I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler, wouldn't I look like Adolf goddamn...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krieger: Pam, if you're dumping stuff on the street, you can also dump these.
Pam: What is it?
Krieger: Shattered dreams.
Cheryl: Smells like rotten meat.
Krieger: Also, yes.

• Permalink: Pam, if you're dumping stuff on the street, you can also dump th...
• Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Sterling: If you don't want to see two robots smashing each other with cop cars and shit as they fight each other through the streets of Manhattan...
Krieger: Stop. My penis can only get so erect.

• Permalink: If you don't want to see two robots smashing each other with cop...
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0