The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXLenny Leonard Quotes
Lenny: (to Homer) Now get some sleep, you have a 9 AM rat helmet.
Homer: 9 AM!?
Carl: Hey can you fix the sound?
Lenny: And the color?
Moe: And show it in a regular theatre?
Carl: What's wrong Moe?
Moe: I just got this strange feeling Homer's in trouble.
Lenny: That's weird I just got this strange feeling some guy I don't know named Fausto is in trouble.
Moe: Come on we got to save Homer!
Lenny: And Fausto!
(Marge's sculptures of Lenny and Carl are stuck together)
Lenny: I can't tell where Carl ends and I begin!
Carl: See, it's statements like THAT that make people think we're gay.
Moe: Heh, heh. This is the first time I ever watered down my liquor!
Lenny: Moe, why are your eyes darting back and forth like that?
Grandpa: I never thought it would come to this when I fought in the first World War.
Lenny: First World War? Why do you keep calling it that?
Grandpa: Oh, you'll see!
Kent Brockman: It's blob rule on the streets of Springfield! And to make matters worse, we're being attacked by a fifty-foot Lenny!
Fifty-Foot Lenny: Everyone's paying attention to Homer.
Carl: I still like you.
Fifty-Foot Lenny: Thanks, Invisible Carl!
Carl: Yeah, you should always make peace with your loved ones.
Lenny: I think I'll give my ma a call right now. (dials cell phone) Hey Mom, I just wanted you to know that you mean... Yeah, he's here... (looks disappointed, gives phone to Carl)
Carl: Hey, Mrs. L! Those butter cookies you sent, were tasty. And the almond ones, oh! (pause) Aw, I wish I was your son, too. All right, I'm gonna pass you back... Okay, okay, I'll tell him. (closes cell phone) Uh, Moe. Lenny's mom says, she loves you.
(Lenny makes disgusted noise)
Moe: Who wants to abolish democracy forever? Show of hands.
Carl: I could really go for some kind of military thing like, uh, Juan Pern. When he disappeared ya, you stayed disappeared.
Lenny: Plus his wife was Madonna.
Carl: It sure is nice not having Homer around to tell us where we can and can't park.
Lenny: Yeah. Without the crushing rule of law, society will do a better job of regulating itself.
Colby Krause: Homer, here in the bowling alley, you're a totally different man. Relaxed, confident...
Homer: Is this going somewhere?
Colby Krause: What we have to do is figure a way to make "Bowling Alley Homer" into "Everyday Homer."
Lenny: I have an aunt who became an uncle. Is it like that?
(Awkward silence. Lenny wanders off.)
Colby Krause: I want you to wear those bowling shoes out the door and everywhere you go. It's crazy, but it just might work!
Homer: Dr. Frederick J. Waxman, you're a genius!
Colby Krause: That's not my name.
Homer: I wasn't talking to you.
(pleading for his job without using the letter 'e') I'm a good work... guy.
