The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSLeonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?
Leonard: I think any university would want you -- except, of course, any university that had already had you, because they would have already wanted you, before they, you know, got you.
Sheldon: From the mind that brought you "hi-lo."
Leonard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Leonard: Yes, but mixed with a little bit of concern.
Don't let Goofy near him. He'll have nightmares, and I'll have to deal with it
Leonard: If my PE teachers told me this is what I was training for I would have tried a lot harder.
Penny: Do or do not, there is no try.
Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
Penny: I believe I quoted Empire Strikes Back.
Leonard: Oh my God. I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda.
Sheldon: I recently had a dream that I was giant, but everything around me was to scale, so it all looked normal.
Leonard: How did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale?
Sheldon: I was wearing size "a million" pants.
Leonard: We think we can help you with your stage fright.
Sheldon: Oh, I doubt that. I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
Penny: Yes, buy you're not smaller than all of us put together.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, that is what I meant.
Leonard: What, to you, is a large crowd?
Sheldon: Any group big enough to trample me to death. General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children.
Leonard: You want to talk endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the City.
Raj: Dude, there's six seasons.
Leonard: Oh crap.
Leonard: It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies; it belongs to him.
Wolowitz: Fine, he can have it back -- as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.
Wolowitz: Clearly, you've never been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashana.
Here's Mr. T's head on Spock's body. I pity the fool that is illogical.
Penny: Sheldon's in jail.
Leonard: What'd he do?
Penny: The same crap he normally does, except to a judge.
