The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSLeonard Hofstadter Quotes
Penny: Hey, if you guys need a fourth, I'll play.
Leonard: Great idea!
Sheldon: Uh, no. The wheel was a great idea. Relativity was a great idea. This is a notion, and a rather sucky one at that.
Penny: Why?!
Sheldon: Why? Oho, Penny, Penny, Penny.
Penny: Oho, what, what, what? [picks up controller]
Sheldon: This is a complex battle simulation with a steep learning curve. There are a myriad of weapons, vehicles, and strategies to master, and not to mention an extremely intricate back story.
Penny: Oh, cool! Whose head did I just blow off?
Sheldon: Mine.
Leonard: You have a TV in your room. Why don't you just have breakfast in bed?
Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day
Leonard: Can't you see that she's using you?
Wolowitz: Who cares? Last night she pulled off her blouse and I wept.
Penny: Look, Howard, I know her, okay. She'll sleep with anyone as long as they keep buying her things.
Wolowitz: Really?
Penny: Yeah.
Wolowitz: Yay
Leonard: What's wrong?
Penny: Well, Howard and Christy are kind of hooking up in my bedroom.
Leonard: Are you sure?
Penny: Look, I grew up on a farm. From what I heard, they're either having sex, or Howard's caught in a milking machine
Leonard: Sheldon, think this through, you're going to ask him to choose between sex and Halo.
Sheldon: No, I'm going to ask him to choose between sex and Halo 3. As far as I know, sex has not been upgraded to include high-def graphics and enhanced weapons systems.
Leonard: You're right. All sex has is nudity, orgasms, and human contact.
Sheldon: My point
Leonard: If you don't like this Christy, why are you letting her stay?
Penny: Well, she was engaged to my cousin while she was sleeping with my brother, so she's kind of family
Leonard: You know, Penny, we make such a good team, maybe we could enter a couple of Halo tournaments sometime.
Penny: Or we could just have a life.
Penny: Why can't all guys be like you?
Leonard: Because if all guys were like me the human race couldn't survive
Leonard: I understand your impulse to try to physically intimidate me. I mean, you can't compete with me on an intellectual level and so you're driven to animalistic puppery.
Kurt: Call me a "puppy animal?"
Leonard: So, what happens now?
Leslie: Well, I don't know about your sex drive, but I'm probably good till New Year's.
Leonard: Oh. Okay. Thank you.
Leslie: Thank you.
Leonard: You want to make plans for New Year's?
Leslie: Whoa, Leonard, please. You're smothering me
Penny: Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello.
Leonard: Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough
Leslie: I'm glad I ran into you. The Physics Department string quartet needs a new cellist.
Leonard: What happened to Elliot Wong?
Leslie: He switched over to high-energy radiation research and had a little mishap, and now the other guys are a little uncomfortable sitting next to him
