Ann: This guy went to Harvard.
Leslie: So did the Unabomber!

You are so brilliant and kind and stupid-hot!

We'll do a double date. You and you. And me and Ben!

Chris: According to Leslie's binder, her and April are making better time than on a normal day.
Leslie: Oh that's weird with us being women and all. You'd think our boobs would be getting in the way.

April: Let's rock this.
Leslie: April, I love you, but I don't need your sarcasm.
April: I'm serious. Let's get rolling, let's get into some garbage!
(to the camera) What? I love garbage.

Man on committee: I believe one problem with hiring women is that they're frail and breakable.
Leslie: Are you sure you're not talking about a lightbulb? Or your hip?

Leslie: Merry congratuchristmas!
Ron: What?

Ben: I don't know if you knew this, but Leslie was born in Eagleton!
Leslie: Do not blame me for the sins of my mother!

Jazz, plus jazz, plus jazz!

Your show last week on dolphin lactation was riveting radio.

Can you say per capita again? I want to take a picture of you saying "per capita."

[to Joe Biden] You're my...my name just came out of your mouth!

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

Ron