Your office shall serve as his monkey tomb!

As much as we want this to happen, we can't just let Jerry disappear!

Every memory deserves to be chronicled! Even the saggy ones.

Boring is my middle name.

Ben Wyatt was the best thing that came out of this crap town.

Ben: I can't believe they're finally giving me the key to the city.
Leslie: I can't believe it took so long. They gave the key to every other mayor in the city. And none of them had as cute a butt as you.

Thank you Mr. Swanson for your absurd opinion which you share with no one.

You're too beautiful to be funny. It's not your fault, but you've never had to compensate for anything.

Ah, what am I going to do? I just opened up a can of Whoop Ass on myself!

My speech doesn't need your luck. It needs a surgeon general's warning because it is harmful to your health.

Leslie: I love you and I like you.
Ben: I love you and I like you.

Tom: Leslie, do you want to say some stuff to Ben now?
Leslie: My first draft of my vows, that I wrote the day after we got engaged clocked in around 70 pages.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Ben: Newspaper headline was "Ice Town costs ice clown his town crown."
Leslie: Yuck.
Ben: They were big into rhymes.

Normally, if given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I'll do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant that nothing got done.