Lester Patel Quotes
Jeff [about Hannah]: I'm gonna totally hit that.
Lester: May the best stalker win.
Lester: I wanted to thank you Chuck, you made me feel something I haven't felt in a long time...
Morgan: Another human's foot on your body?
Lester: The studs inside are going to ruin our chances with the medium-hot chicks from Underwear Unlimited.
Jeff: I've been drinking this jail juice since I was in diapers, I'll challenge them to a drinking contest and they'll pass out.
Lester: By process of elimination we land the ladies.
Lester [about Carina]: She brought for guys and no beer.
Jeff: Thanks a lot, now our party is a sausage fest.
Grimes stop it. Like a hot piece of toochis like that would get anywhere near a piece of trafe like you.
Morgan [to Big Mike]: The truth is, I just wanted you to stop dating my mother.
Lester: You should be so lucky that a man of his stature would defile your mother
Morgan: Chuck, sorry buddy. We are here to plead our case about Awesome's bachelor party.
Chuck: You know what, not now, guys. I'm in the middle of something.
Lester: The world revolves around the sun, Charles, not you.
Jeff: Ooh, astronomy snap.
Lester: Jeff and I...we've never been to a bachelor party.
Jeff: Never known anyone qualified enough to land a woman for life
Alex [dressed as stripper]: I understand one of you has been a naughty, naughty boy.
Lester: Me, oh my God, pick me, I'm so bad, I've been bad, I've been bad, I'm a bad person, I'm a terrible person.
Jeff: I broke eight and a half commandments on the way to work this morning