Lindsay Bluth Fünke Quotes
Maeby: That's it! Tell me what's up with you and Dad.
Lindsay: Nothing. Nothing's wrong with your father and me. We have a-a wonderful, close relationship. Can I let you in on a little secret? Hmm? Having him in the next room makes me miss him all the more.
Maeby: Mom, please. He's got a big boy crush on Action Jackson.
Michael: Where's Tobias?
Lindsay: He's on the balcony having margaritas with Carl Weathers.
Maeby: I don't get it. Why do we have to change rooms?
Lindsay: Cousins of the opposite gender shouldn't be sharing a room.
George Michael: But that's just the point. I mean, we're cousins. You know, gender has nothing to do with it. Cousins can bunk together. That's why they call it "bunking cousins."
Lindsay: They call it "kissing cousins."
George Michael: We're not kissing. That's the point.
I was thinking about that toast you gave at my anniversary party. So, I wanna get a divorce.
Lindsay: Don't worry, sweetie. Mommy and Daddy aren't going anywhere.
Maeby: Ok. I'll go unpack my suitcase.
Lindsay: No! We may have to bolt!
Michael: 14 years, huh? You've got to be doing something right.
Lindsay: Well, if you call not filing for divorce something right.
(to Michael) So, you didn't get any while you were in high school, and now you're not going to get any while George Michael's in high school.
Jessie: I think it's best if you got a job.
Lindsay: Oh, come on! I'm a parent, I care about my daughter every bit as much as Michael cares about his son.
Maeby: What grade am I in?
Lindsay: What kind of job?
Lindsay: You seem like a man of taste and class.
Man at bar: I'll give you $2,000 to touch me.
(Tobias and Carl Weathers enter bar)
Lindsay: Oh, my god, my husband.
Man at bar:You're married to Carl Weathers? S***!
Hostess: Mrs. Bluth, there's absolutely no room.
Lindsay: Come on. I've suddenly lost my appetite.
Lucille: Oh, who's going to believe that?
Lindsay: (sobbing) How can you treat me this way?!
Lucille: Oh, please! Everything I've said about you can be covered with makeup and a lie about a thyroid problem. Good grief almighty! You think I'm enjoying my slide into poverty?
(to Jessie) Instead of us getting jobs, why don't you do your job and tell everyone we've got jobs?
