Liz Lemon Quotes
Liz: I'm the one with the performance problem. I freaked out and my junk closed for business. It's like Fort Knox down there.
Driver: I'm just going to raise the barrier if that's okie dokie with everyone.
I just need to see him and I can't get a cab because Greece is playing Pakistan in soccer.
Liz: Your lizard cannot be the music guest on the show.
Tracy: Of course not! His album doesnt drop until December!
Liz: No breaking. Promise?
Tracy: I promise. I swear on my mother's grape.
Liz: Did you say grave or grape?
Tracy: Yes. Goodbye.
You'll never be a millionaire! Hahaha. Slumdog Millionaire ref...Blam-o.
Jack: Why are you better looking in your memory?
Liz: My memory had Seinfeld money.
Liz: I don't know if he's mentioned this to you a hundred times, but he went to Harvard.
Jack: So we know he's smart and superb at masturbation.
Hey, will you ask Congress where they put the USA Network. I've been trying to find Monk for like three months.
Liz: You comin' downstairs?
Jack: And stand outside in a crowd like some Italian? I don't think so.
Liz: This is one of the three things I like: Ina Garten, sweater weather and...
Carol: When Muppets present at awards shows?
Liz: The next time you hallucinate just tell yourself "this is not real. I am in control of this."
Tracy: Like the World Cup.
Liz: The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home... I don't know how they do it.
Jack: They clean them.