Jack: Lemon why do you keep spending so much money on Wigs?
Liz: Tracy's head size keeps changing.

Liz: Who flies Newark to Atlantic City?
Carol: Black bachelorette parties.

You sound weird... do you have a beard?

Jack: My naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the three S's: surf, sun and ...
Liz: Sandwiches?

No Tom Jones, no!

I hate people too.

Jenna: Let's Lez!
Liz: No, I meant a book club or something.

Wesley: There's only one Wesley Snipes in this world.
Liz: You know, there isn't.

No, he's just a groomsman ... and a Somali pirate. Careful!

You can't force the fate, you just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that won't take because your skin is too oily.

Yes, I wrote that! I write all the Fart Doctors!

I know. People wear flip flops to church, and the NBA tattoo situation is out of control.

30 Rock Quotes

Jenna: How do nice people dress?
Tracy: Socks on their hands, no belt, roller skates.

I don't have bed bugs, Kenneth. I went to Princeton.

Jack