Luke: How come you never wrote a poem for me?
Manny: Don't you get it? They were all for you.

Don't be silly, Janet. If I were interested in more youthful things, would I be here with you?

Luke: Thank you, Alexandra. It's not easy being the smart ones in this family.
Alex: Don't compare us! Your last English paper came back with a Garfield sticker on it that said, "Way to Go!"

Drive til you hear a party.

We can't have people golfing sober. They'll realize it's a waste of time.

Luke: Why does Alex get a care package and not me?
Claire: You live in a care package.

Phil: Well good morning Leonard.
Luke: Leonard?
Phil: I know it's not the well-behaved son Luke who'd never take our car out without a license and get arrested.

Phil: Then today it's, "everything I can do you can do better."
Luke: No, I can't.
Phil: Yes, you can.

Luke: What are you constantly looking at on your computer?
Alex: Is that a question you really want people asking around here?

Manny: Hey, that's my bike!
Luke: We're all making sacrifices. I'm wearing a monokini.

Manny: And just like that, it disappears.
Luke: In his defense, the water is really cold.

Haley got married? She is in so much trouble!