Lynette Scavo Quotes
Well, gotta hand it to her. Just when you think Bree's thrown every conceivable theme party she hosts a Shame on you for thinking my husband killed someone dinner.
Tom: I don't want you to be afraid to take a firm hand with Kayla. She is part of our family now and.. you know what that means.
Lynette: Yeah! I should treat her as badly as I treat my own children.
(Lynette and Gabrielle are getting ready for a poker game and Bree joins them)
Lynette: Guys, why's it been so long since we played poker? I really need this.
Bree: Oh, me too there is nothing more relaxing than an afternoon of finger food and girl talk.
(Susan walks in and joins them)
Susan: Hi ladies.
Lynette: Hey, how you doing?
Susan(to Bree): So did you tell the police that you think Orson killed Monique?
Gabrielle(in shock): What?
Bree(stunned): No I did not, and I don't plan to.
Susan: But Mike's in jail, and you said yourself you thought Orson did it.
Bree: I said I had concerns, concerns that have disappeared now that Mike has been arrested.
Susan: What are you saying? You think Mike is guilty?
Lynette: Hey, why don't we start that girl talk?
Gabrielle: I'll get the ball rolling, anybody have a yeast infection?
Bree(to Susan): They found Monique's blood on the wrench that Mike was trying to dispose of, I mean that hardly screams "INNOCENCE".
Susan: Her teeth were pulled, you don't think that's worth telling the cops she was messing around with a dentist?
Gabrielle(to Lynette): Orson was slipping it to the deck chick? (Lynette makes a weird expression)
Susan: Mike is innocent I know that in my heart.
Bree: We all have convictions Susan, I believe Mike's last one was for manslaughter. (Smirks)
Lynette: Ok, ok we've all made some excellent points in blowing off little steam, wooh, let's play some cards. (Smiles)
(Weird pause)
Susan(to Bree): If you're so sure that Orson is innocent why don't we go through his things? Where is his desk?
Bree: At his office, and what did you think you'd find there anyway?
Susan: I don't know a blackmail letter, a necklace made of teeth.
Lynette(to Gabrielle after both gave up): We're not gonna play cards are we?
Gabrielle(eating): no.
Susan: Well I'm certainly not playing with a woman that is willing to let Mike take the fall for her psycho husband.
Bree: Well needless to say I won't be cooking dinner for Ian's parents.
Susan: Fine, I'll cook myself.
Bree: Good, let me know if there are any survivors. (Smirks)
Susan: And if you take Orson back, you do the same. (Smirks back and leaves)
(After Art reveals he is a pedophile)
Lynette: Where are you going?
Art: Why? Are you going to write?
Lynette: I am snapping because there is a monster across the street and Barney Fife here is making me sound like 'the bad guy'.
(Lynette leaves the police office while Tom stays with the officer.)
Tom: Look I'm sorry. She's been under a lot of stress, hasn't slept well...
Lynette: (from outside the office) You better not be apologizing for me!
Parker: You went to the store and you got shot, and auntie Nora died.
Lynette: I'm only gonna be in there for ten minutes, I promise.
Parker: Can't she go? (pointing at Mrs. McCluskey)
Lynette: Art is the one who saved me, at the supermarket. He's sort of a superhero.
Parker: Give me a break.
Lynette: It's true.
Parker: All right. If you're a superhero, what's your name?
Art: I'm Protector Man!
Lynette: How do I thank the man who saved my life.
Art: You don't have to say anything.
Lynette: I'm gonna make you a cake.
Art: (smiles) A cake.
Lynette: Yeah, I never make cakes, this is huge.
Tom: (to his children) And we'll all see Auntie Nora again in heaven.
Lynette: Or wherever.
(Lynette and Nora are held hostage at the supermarket but managed to hide from Carolyn and were trying to talk to Tom on Lynette's cellphone when Parker answers the phone.)
Parker: Hello?
Lynette: Hello! Sweetie, it's mommy, I need to talk to daddy.
Parker: Porter is hogging all the legos.
Lynette: Tell him I said to share, now put daddy on!
Parker: I did tell them! He says he needs them all for his robots!
Lynette: Put daddy on and I will buy you a real robot!
Parker: (pops his eyes up in excitement) You will?
Lynette: A big one with laser beam eyes, now go get daddy!
(Parker drops the phone on the couch and walks away)
Parker: (to his brothers) I'm getting a real robot!
(Carolyn comes from behind with a gun and takes the phone before she can talk to Tom)
Lynette: Oh, oh.. You have stepped on to my property, and you've talked to Tom. That's two rules you broke, and I'm not sure that top doesn't make it three.
Nora: Would you tell your lunatic wife I am not talking to her.
Lynette: I'm only lunatic if you think I'm letting you anywhere near my husband.
Susan: Hey, is that the new neighbor?
Gabrielle: He's cute!
Lynette: Edie said he's a bachelor.
Gabrielle: Keep talking.
Lynette: Who lives with his invalid sister.
Gabrielle: You can stop now.
