You waste so much time talking when you should be plowing.

Mac [to Dennis]

• Permalink: You waste so much time talking when you should be plowing.
• Added: December 01, 2011

I'm 200 lbs. I'm as big as my avatar!

• Permalink: I'm 200 lbs. I'm as big as my avatar!
• Added: November 17, 2011

Dee is guilty of sloth...and she's pro-abortion.

Mac [to priest]

• Permalink: Dee is guilty of sloth...and she's pro-abortion.
• Added: November 17, 2011

I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.

• Permalink: I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog...
• Added: November 17, 2011

He said 'fire off'...I like that.

Mac [referring to musclehead]

• Permalink: He said fire off'...I I like that.
• Added: November 17, 2011

Dee [to Dennis]: What in God's name have you done to your face?
Mac: You look like a monster.

• Permalink: What in God's name have you done to your face? You look like a...
• Added: November 17, 2011

How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?

Priest

• Permalink: How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?
• Added: November 17, 2011

I command you to smite my friends!

Mac [to God]

• Permalink: I command you to smite my friends!
• Added: November 17, 2011

Mac: Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your confession?
Mac: I'm fat.

• Permalink: Bless me Father for I have sinned. What is your confession? ...
• Added: November 17, 2011

Who was it that said 'I'll be in and out like a demon's whisper'?

Mac [to Dennis]

• Permalink: Who was it that said 'I'll be in and out like a demon's whisper'...
• Added: November 10, 2011

Charlie: I can't see the driver's face but the man appears to have pointy feet.
Mac: Those are cowboy boots.

• Permalink: I can't see the driver's face but the man appears to have pointy...
• Added: November 10, 2011

Dee banged a fat, old, black lady and sent her a bunch of hair.

• Permalink: Dee banged a fat, old, black lady and sent her a bunch of hair.
• Added: November 03, 2011