The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXMarge Simpson Quotes
(Homer brings home Santa's Little Helper.)
Marge: Oh, this is the best gift of all, Homer!
Homer: It is?
Marge: Yes. Something to share our love and frighten prowlers.
Lisa: What's his name?
Homer: Number 8--Uh, I mean Santa's Little Helper.
Patty: Hello, Marge. It's Patty. Selma and I couldn't be more excited about seeing our baby sister for Christmas Eve.
Marge: Well, Homer and I are looking forward to your visit too.
(Homer makes a gagging noise.)
Patty: Somehow I doubt that Homer is excited. Of all the men you could've married, I don't know why you picked one who is always so rude to us.
Marge: A branch must have knocked out the power lines.
Bart: That's fine, I'll see what's on TV.
Marge: That runs on electricity, also.
Bart: Alright, I'll watch a DVD, there's no way that runs on electricity.... Really, does Obama know about this?
From now on the only witch in Lisa's life is which boy will marry her.
From now on our family is eating healthy food that looks bad on the shelf and good in our colon.
Marge: The most intimate evening we spent this week was when I was ironing your shirts
Homer: Actually, those were Carl's shirts
Marge: You two are going out? I thought I told you the Flanderers were coming over for dinner.
Lisa: I'm having a tea party at Jamie's.
Bart: And I'm having a stink bomb party at the house next to Jamie's... no connection.
Bart: Stop dragging me! When i get older I'm gonna drag you around and buy you clothes.
Marge: Oh, that's wonderful!
Homer: Marge, can you still love a man that's half beer?
Marge: I always have
What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior?
[camera pans to Reverend Lovejoy...]
Marge: I can't kill her, she's Lisa's god mother
Apu: You can apologize in hell
Marge: I guess I could!
Marge [about Homer]: Is he okay?
Akira: He feels no pain. Oh I'm sorry, my English is not so good. I meant to say he feels only pain
