The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXMarge Simpson Quotes
Homer: My doctor said don't walk.
Marge: That was a traffic signal!
You can never raise a hand to a child. Just stop cutting the crust off their sandwiches. They'll get the message.
Marge: Homey, you sure know how to please a woman.
Homer: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.
Newsweek magazine did say it's good to change careers... right after they laid off all their editors.
Marge: In a good marriage you never say, "I told you so."
Homer: Which is good for me because you're always right.
Tushy: every light in the house is a tanning light.
Marge: can you read by it?
Tushy: no one's ever tried.
The only husband of Selma's I ever liked was Disco Stu. He was so upbeat until he found out she didn't like disco music.
Marge: He's mad about a sport result.
Homer: Lousy St. Louis Cardinals can't win the 1985 World Series on classic sports.
Comic Book Guy: How do you know the bride?
Marge: I'm her sister, you?
Comic Book Guy: I bought her ping pong table off cragislist. Color yourself slighted.
Marge: Just cause everyone else is doing the wave doesn't mean you have to.
Homer: No one else is doing it. I'm trying to start it.
Marge: Remember, on the road the only vice you can indulge in is gluttony. Save lust and rage for me and the kids.
Homer: Honey, don't worry, I'm gonna come back so horny and angry.
According to this live blog, Ben Stiller and Jack Black are doing a bit that will not end.
