Lily: Marshall and I are just growing up.
Marshall: And it's gonna be sweet, too. Like tonight, we're tasting all these different wines, pairing them up with these cool, gourmet cheeses.
Barney: Wow. Who knew being in a committed heterosexual relationship could make a guy so gay.
Ted: All right, cool kids are leaving now. Grandma, grandpa, don't wait up

Marshall: I think we're going to wait on the baby thing. I mean I love babies. Babies rule. Pudgy arms and stuff. But, uh, they make you old. Kinda like this anchor weighing you down to one spot... forever.
Claire: I'm three months pregnant.
Marshall: ... Not awkward, guys. Not awkward unless we let it be awkward

Ted: What are you doing here, Lily let you go?
Marshall: Lily? Psshh, who cares, right?
Ted: You are so dead.
Marshall: Oh, I'm so dead

Lily: Maybe we should start doing grown-up stuff.
Marshall: It was some pretty grown up stuff we did this morning.
Lily: Yea, but it wasn't classy

Robin: He's not my boyfriend. He's just this guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks.
Lily: Boyfriend.
Marshall: So why haven't we met him?
Robin: We're not really ready to go public yet.
Barney: Married

Lily: We are so gonna win the costume contest this year.
Marshall: First prize, $50 gift certificate at the bar.
Ted: And how much did you pay for your costumes?
Marshall: $100
Lily: Each

Marshall: Apple tart, excellent choice, Lilypad.
Lily: Thanks, Marshmallow.
Robin [to Mike]: Well, let's dig in, Mi... Mi... Microwave Oven

Ted: I just met the perfect woman. She's funny, she's beautiful, she loves "Star Wars"...
Marshall: Woah woah woah, what's her take on Ewoks?
Ted: Loves them!
Marshall: Oh, good. I don't know why people are so cynical about Ewoks; the Rebellion would have failed without the Ewoks.
Ted: And get this: She's a marine biologist, she spent a year in Antarctica studying penguins.
Marshall: Oh, penguins are cool. Kinda like black-and-white Ewoks. I approve

Lily: Guess what came in the mail today?
Marshall: Our costumes? Do they rule?
Lily: They rule. And yours is 100% wool so you won't get hypothermia like last year.
Marshall [in deep voice]: Tarzan nipple blue

Lily: He's a whole new species. The cockamouse.
Marshall: And it's the size of a potato.
Robin: So, what, now it's a cockapotatomouse?
Marshall: Don't make it sound ridiculous. It's a cockamouse

Marshall: For as much as we know about the cockamousse, there are still so much we don't know.
Robin: Well, we know that there's no such thing as a cockamouse. What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking

Ted: I've been there for all the big moments of you and Lily: the night you met, your first date, other first things...
Marshall: Huh-uh-uh, yeah, sorry, we thought you were asleep.
Ted: It's physics Marshall, if the bottom bunk moves the top bunk moves too