Marshall: Did you catch the game last night?
Robin: Yeah, nail biter.

Robin: Hey Captain, quick question. What do you think about the Jonas Brothers?
Marshall [covering the right half of the Captain's face]: He hates that he loves them.

Ted: A-ha! When a second uterus plumped becomes...
Marshall: Dude.. feel the room.

Marshall: Oh you're wearing a flower.
Barney: Thank You!
Marshall: I didn't compliment, just observed.

Looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees.

I love you and I'm going to love the crap out of whatever kind of baby we have.

Marshall: Hey, Barney, that prime rib was surprisingly good, but it's ten thirty in the morning I don't really need to see a lady get naked and dance.
Barney: Oh Esther gets naked, but she doesn't dance... That WAS my card!

Marshall: I can't do this. I can't stop thinking about you and Robin.
Lily: Oh I've had that a few times. just lean into it and let it fuel things.

Oh that's super interesting but you have a small penis.

Baby these satin sheets are slippery. Papa needs traction.

Come on, Spice Channel!

Eriksen men are hella fertile.

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.


Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.