Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXMeg Griffin Quotes
The moon. There's a reason no one goes there. It's cold. And it's ugly. And it's surface is plagued with deep craters and jagged peaks. Wait a minute, that's not the moon! It's Neil Goldman's face!
Meg: Chris, quit it! Mom! Chris put his foot on my side again!
Chris: I can't help it. I have these long dancer's legs.
Meg: Move it!
Stewie: Meg, stop your whining. Chris, stay on your own side. Lois, for God's sake, get off your ass and do some parenting!
Lois: If you kids don't knock it off, we're not goin' to McDonald's after church.
Meg and Chris: MOM!
Peter: Don't worry. We're goin'. B-B-But you don't get the Supersize.
Chris: OH!
Peter: Okay, you can Supersize. But no apple pie!
Meg: Oh, come on!
Peter: Okay, you get an apple pie, but you can't blow on it
[Meg and Chris are raking leaves]
Chris: Hold it, Meg. Those two are mine.
Meg: What?
Chris: That's Randy and that's Fred. Randy's the messy one. Fred's very neat. And when you get them together, whoa! Hold onto your sides!
Meg: Nice to meet you both.
[Meg picks up the leaves and rubs them together]
Chris: Murderer!
[Chris chases after Meg and they get caught by Lois]
Lois: Stop it! Both of you! Starting now, you two are gonna love each other.
[Lois makes them hug]
Lois: Now stay that way!
Chris: It's gonna be weird to potty
Brian: What about the "writing angry letters and not sending them" exercise?
Peter: Aw geez, I wasn't supposed to send those?
Meg: Look, I got a letter from dad! Dear Meg, for the first four years of your life, I thought you were a housecat. Dad!
Stewie: Dear Stewie, get out. Oh, that's nice.
Lois: Mine just says Dear Lois, and after that it looks like someone just spit on the paper
Meg: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie: Hmm, the end result of a drunken back seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?
Lois: I used to date the pyro guy from Whitesnake.
Meg: What's Whitesnake?
Lois: That's the music mommies and daddies listen to
Meg: Wow, Brian! Have you lost weight? You gotta tell me your secret!
Brian: Here's a hint: Put down the fork!
Meg: Mom, is sodomy illegal if you're Jewish?
Lois: I hope so Meg, I really do
Peter: It's not, Lois.... it's not
Meg: Mom, I can't clean, I've got stuff to do.
Lois: Meg, we all know you don't have stuff to do
Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West?
Adam West: How do you know my language?
Chris: Okay, Meg. I'm thinking of another word. This time it's definitely not kitty. Can you guess what it is?
Meg: Is it kitty?
Chris: Ahh! Get out of my head! Get out of my head?
