Michael Bluth Quotes
Gob: Great news! Dad wasn't crushed to death!
Michael: Was there a risk of that?
Michael: Go ahead and tell Gob that I'll be telling the cops that it was him in the truck so he'll be joining me here. I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it.
Lucille: You'd do that to your own brother?
Michael: I said "cot".
Gob: Dad's gonna be crushed!
George Michael: You don't have to tell him!
Could we stop worrying about girls with low self-esteem and start focusing on sobering up the woman who gave us ours?
Gob: Well, gee, I didn't think the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be mom.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date!
Gob: Don't call my escorts whores.
Buster: Mom still got it!
Gob: I don't date whores!
Lindsay: Stop it! Stop it! This objectification of women has to stop!
Michael: It's just mom and whores.
Lucille: I've been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol is the reason I'm here, I got news for you, bub: it's the only reason you're here too.
Michael: Hey, you're mean sober too.
Gob: Nice to meet you. (walks away)
Mrs. Veal: Your family is lovely!
Michael: Does it seem that way? Where's Buster?
Mrs. Featherbottom: Jolly news, governor. Young Master's proposing.
Michael: George Michael? I thought I told him not to. He said he wouldn't.
Mrs. Featherbottom: Well, this was before he saw you pounding that sweet piece of Veal!
Michael: You haven't met my family. You should meet my family. We're going to be having an anniversary party.
Pastor Veal: What a wonderful surprise! We would love to witness a celebration of their love.
Michael: That would be a wonderful surprise.
Gob: Franklin said some things Whitey just wasn't ready to hear.
Michael: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
Gob: He also said some things that African-Americany wasn't ready to hear, either.
George Michael: Gangy's having an anniversary party?
Michael: Seems that way.
George Michael: Hey, is Franklin gonna be there?
Gob: See that, Mike? Kids love Franklin.
George Michael: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.
Michael: Mom, this is Ann's mother.
Lucille: Are you sure this isn't her sister?
Ann's mother: Oh, what a lovely thing to say.
Michael: Oh, what an awful thing to say Mom, please.
