Hi I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning.

Michael: Oh, wow. I cannot believe this is happening. It's everything I dreamed. Oh my God!
Jim: Easy.
Michael: It's not a birthday, it's not a good-bye party ...
Jim: Oh hey, Pam and I are gonna go play pool with one of her friends. And we need a fourth.
Michael: Sucks to be youuuu!
Jim: [pause] Would you like to be our fourth.
Michael: That would be sublime.

Michael: I'm trying to make your kids, respect you. Because, a father needs to respect his boss. And kids don't respect the father who doesn't respect the boss. Do you understand that line of logic?
Jim: I don't think you even understand it.
Michael: I do understand it.

Michael: Wait, what day is today?
Kevin: Um, tonight is Ghost Whisperer. So Friday.

Dwight: Michael you were supposed to tell me when the leads came in!
Michael: Well Bigshot, if you want to find your leads, go to the man who never breathes.
Dwight: [pauses] Kevin!

Darryl: You need to get back on top.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.

Make friends first. Make sales second. Make love third. In no particular order.

You are all successories!

Today we are all kings and queens.

Just imagine that instead of going to jail when you murdered someone, you got an ice cream cone. If that we the case, then in the summer time, everyone would go around killing people for the pleasure of an ice cream cone.

Michael: The sales department smashed my sandwich?
Darryl: Yes - all of them together. It's a conspiracy.

First up - the Lost and Found has gone missing. It itself is lost, so please try and not loose anything until we find it.

The Office Quotes

Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Jim: Baquette.
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Jim: Eww.
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.

Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.

Darryl