You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore.

Andy: You know I'm the worst salesman here right?
Michael: But you're the best salesman on the inside.
Phyllis: What does that even mean?
Michael: You sold us all on Andy, a product that nobody wanted.

When Phyllis was in high school, she was soooo cute...and she still is.

Pam: Should we get toppings?
Michael: What do you like Pam?

Michael: I am told there are bears in the Rockies.
Dwight: Where'd you here that? Obvious XM Radio?

Yeah, okay. Well this is gonna hurt like a mother (bleeped).

Dwight: I just don't see the point of the Dundies, okay? The jokes are terrible, the venue was bad, the fashion was boring.
Michael: Okay, that is unfair. The clothing was safe but tasteful.

That Phyllis bit...that was pretty good right?

The diabetes award goes to Stanley Hudson. Come on up here you sick bastard.

Deangelo: Just go do it by yourself, or get Ryan.
Michael: No Ryan would never do it. It's too on the radar.

Deangelo: Jim, do you know where I can find Michael Scott?
Michael (as Jim): Oh I totally don't know where Michael is, dude. Hey you wanna listen to some records?

This is my last Dundies ever, if I want mind control over him, is that too much to ask?

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famous Chili. The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot. I'm serious about this stuff. I'm up the night before pressing garlic and dicing whole tomatoes. I toast my own Ancho chilies. It's a recipe passed down from Malones for generations. It's probably the thing I do best.

Kevin