Michael: Ryan, how are you today?
Ryan: Why don't you ask my therapist? My mom certainly pays her enough.

Anything can happen at the Dundies. They're like the Golden Globes only less mean.

When Larry King died, they didn't just cancel his show.

Hey Toby! You suck!

Erin: Michael can you stop talking now, I have to do your lips.
Michael: Don't shave my lips.

Dwight: Thanks for meeting me.
Michael: Are you kidding? I'd come anywhere to see a turtle.

This is Jim and Pam, aka Jap.

As you know, one of my favorite things is fan fare for its own sake.

Michael: Do not tell my fiance I'm drinking on a Wednesday.
Deangelo: Haha. I won't...I don't know her.

Deangelo: To beginnings and endings.
Michael: And to middles, the unsung heroes.

Holly has to go back to Colorado. I'm going with her. I'm leaving.

Michael: We're moving to Colorado.
Kevin: All of us?

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of SoCo, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more SoCo, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight Bs. They called me Buzz.

Andy