Miranda Bailey Quotes
Miranda: Ah, Chief?
Richard: Dr. Bailey.
Miranda: How's your mood?
Richard: Meager. Anxious. I'm excited about Sloan's face transplant. I'm a little concerned about Derek Shepherd, but all in all...
Miranda: Do I look like therapist?
Richard: You asked.
Miranda: I've lost Hunt and Torres. See, I sent them to get Shepherd and I never heard from them again. See, I was trying to solve the Shepherd situation for you, Sir, but, It appears I've somehow made it 3 times worse. So, I'm telling you and my next move I believe is that I'm gonna call the police. Because, I'm half convinced they're all dead, on a spit, with a one armed man turning them into shish kebabs. Sir. It's my mind. It just goes there.
Miranda: What in gods name is going on?
Meredith: It's a personal issue, and we are just trying to give them their privacy.
Miranda: Do you think for a second I wanted to get involved with your little intern dramas?
George: We were not this bad.
Miranda: Oh, getting married in Vegas. Shacking up with attendings, cutting LVAD wires. You don't have to like it, but you have to manage it.
Meredith: Oh, we've got it under control.
Intern: (runs down stairs crying) Wait, I love you Megan!
Callie: Hey who moved my surgery? Chief? Chief..?
Miranda: Don't, just don't. He's a wreck. He's decintergrating before our very eyes. That's why men die earlier than women.
Callie: Mmmm, the boards a mess.
Miranda: He can't lose Shepherd. I mean, I'd go talk some sense into him but, I've got too much on my plate.
Callie: Have you tried calling him?
Miranda: About a hundred times.
Callie: No.... No... Oh you, you want me to go to the woods? No. Ah, I don't do woods. The woods are dirty, and there are many many bugs. What am I gonna say to the guy? I barely know him.
Miranda: You don't have to know him, you're both surgeons. You've been through the same war. Look, just remind him that we've all been there, we all came back.
Callie: You're kind of a bully, you know that?
Miranda: Wouldn't do it if it didn't work so well.
Miranda: Ah Chief, I need to ask you something
Richard: Sloan, have you heard from Derek?
Richard: Oh, I'm sorry. You were saying? Oh! Meredith!
Meredith: No, I don't know how he is. I've heard nothing. Nothing today, nothing yesterday, and nothing the day before that. And no, I will not go back out there.
Owen: Did you page me Dr. Bailey?
Miranda: Oh, yes, you finished with your part of the face transplant right?
Owen: Yup, but I cleared my schedule to watch Sloan and Dr. Yang do their surgery so whatever it is you need I hope it's not too time consuming
Miranda: That depends on how fast you can drive.... and talk.
Owen: I'm sorry?
Miranda: I need you to drive to the woods and talk Derek Shepherd into coming back here, and I believe you might also run into Callie Torres.
Owen: (stares blankly)
Miranda: ... with a flat tire, or a broken heal, or an axe wielding serial killer.
Owen: You serious?
Miranda: I've lost Hunt and Torres, see I sent them to get Shepherd and ... never heard from them again ... I was trying to solve the Shepherd situation for you sir, but it appears that I somehow made it three times worse.
Miranda: So I'm telling you and my next move I believe is that I'm gonna call the police because I'm half convinced that they're all dead ... on a spit ... with an one armed man turning them into shish kabob sir ... It's my mind it just goes there.
Miranda: Do I look like a therapist?!
Richard: You asked!
I am Dr. Bailey! I am better than fine.
Derek: If I stop this surgery, it's the same as me sticking this scalpel into his brain. Is that what you want?
Miranda: Yes. That's what I want.
Miranda: Dr. Shepherd?
Derek: Dr. Bailey.
Miranda: I need you to stop. I need you to put down the scalpel. This man is trying to kill himself and, God forgive me, I need you to let him.
Miranda: Page Shepherd!
Meredith: The patient doesn't want that.
Miranda: Oh really, he tell you that?
William: Yes, don't page him, he's terribly unpleasant.
Bailey: Karev, go and get the machine.
Alex: What if it's already hooked up to somebody?
Arizona: If that somebody has more than 16 hours to live, then we'll unhook him.