Grey's Anatomy
Thursdays 9:00 PM on ABCMiranda Bailey Quotes
"Surgeries, Grey! Lots and lots of surgeries. The stupidity of the human race, Grey. Be thankful for that."
PRESTON: "Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free, starting right now."
MIRANDA: "I think you’re cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a God complex and don’t think of anybody but your damn self."
PRESTON: "But, I-"
MIRANDA: "Wait. I still have 23 seconds and I’m not done."
MIRANDA: "So, doctors, why aren't we attempting to reattach the severed penis?"
CRISTINA: "Because teeth don't slice, they tear. If she had wanted to chop it off, things might be different. Plus, the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with."
MIRANDA: "So, how do we proceed?"
CRISTINA: "Sew him up... minus a large part of the family jewels."
MIRANDA: "The outlook?"
MEREDITH: "He'll be urinating out of bag for a very long time."
CRISTINA: "Not to mention he'll never be able to have sex again."
MEREDITH: [sarcastically] "Oh, too bad."
CRISTINA: "A shame."
MIRANDA: "Let's all take a moment to grieve."
MIRANDA: [to Cristina] "An intern was reassigned, so he's mine now. Have him shadow you for the day. Show him how I do things."
ALEX: "Alex Karev, nice to meet you."
CRISTINA: "Ah, the pig who called Meredith a nurse. I hate you on principle."
ALEX: "And you're the pushy, overbearing kiss ass. I hate you too."
CRISTINA: "Well, this should be fun then."
DEREK: "Addison kissed me. Meredith kissed me. My girlfriend and my wife kissed me on the same day."
MIRANDA: "McDreamy, go sit over by someone who cares."
MIRANDA: "I'm pregnant, you blind moron."
RICHARD: "You’re what?"
MIRANDA: My heart rate is 110, I’m burning 3,000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I've got indigestion and gas. Did you know carrying a boy in your uterus means you burn 10 percent more calories than if you had a girl? Guess what I’m carrying. I tried for seven damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men. From the very beginning they just suck the life right out of you. I’m not leaving. I’m pregnant."
[to Meredith] "You haven't told her yet? Okay, I didn't hear you say that. You are her doctor. It is your responsibility to give your patients the information necessary to make an informed decision. Now. I'm hungry, I'm tired, and you're in my way."
IZZIE: "Denny!"
MIRANDA: "What did I tell you? Visiting hours aren't for another hour and you are no longer his doctor. You want to see Denny, you come back when the visitors come."
IZZIE: "I would but I can't wait."
DENNY: "Hey, ixnay on the insubordinationay."
IZZIE: "But it's my turn."
MIRANDA: "Come on, if the Chief finds out you were even on this floor-"
DENNY: "Hold on... it's her turn."
IZZIE: "Yes. My answer is yes."
DENNY: "Now see, you're gonna make my heart stop beating and it's brand new."
MIRANDA: [to Izzie] "I will call security on you."
[the cast, narrating]
MEREDITH: "Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive."
GEORGE: "Family"
CRISTINA: "Love"
IZZIE: "Sex"
DEREK: "But we only need one thing"
RICHARD: "To actually be alive."
CRISTINA: "We need a beating heart."
ADDISON: "When our heart is threatened"
ALEX: "We respond in one of two ways."
GEORGE: "We either run or-"
IZZIE: "We attack."
RICHARD: "There's a scientific term for this."
ALEX: "Fight..."
ADDISON: "...or flight."
MIRANDA: "It's instinct."
MEREDITH: "We can't control it."
IZZIE: "Or can we?"
[to the interns] "Oh no, you don't get to look at me like that. No, you compromised my medical license, nearly killed a patient, lied to the chief of surgery, and made me, your resident, look bad. We're gonna do this prom and we're doing it right!"
GEORGE: "Not to bother you, but-"
MIRANDA: "What? Alright, one of you better spit out the problem right now."
ALEX: "The problem is the colors and the balloons and the Under the Sea. No, it's Titanic. Hey ,lets go with Tears in Heaven. No, that’s too morbid. It should be pink, it should be red, it should be a freaking rainbow-"
GEORGE: "What he's saying is that we're very, very hopeful that you speak teenage girl."
MIRANDA: "Silver and white. It's mystical and magical without being over the top. Ever seen Fashion Week in New York? Lots of silver and white runways and backdrops. That’s because no matter what color the clothes are, they pop."
HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS: "They pop?"
MIRANDA: "They pop! O'Malley and Karev, get 500 balloons in silver and white. A hundred in black, shiny black, not the matte. Yang, stick with Camille, keep her happy, keep her spirits up. Grey, talk to Patricia, make sure we can rope off the second floor nurses' station and the waiting room!"
MIRANDA: "How're you feeling, Denny?"
DENNY: "Really, really good. Like an athlete or a superhero or some other really, really healthy person."
IZZIE: "You're funny. You're a funny guy."
