Grey's Anatomy
Thursdays 9:00 PM on ABCMiranda Bailey Quotes
MIRANDA: "What are you people doing out here?"
RICHARD: "Are you alright? Can I get you anything?"
MIRANDA: "Hmm. Well, a boy the size of a 10-pound bowling ball is trying to work it’s way out of my body. Can you get me something for that? Can you get me a new vagina?"
RICHARD: "Uh... well..."
MIRANDA: "I didn't think so."
PATIENT: "I was struck by lightning."
MEREDITH: "You mean you fell out of a tree that was hit by lightning."
PATIENT: "Same difference."
MIRANDA: "Actually, medically, it's not the same difference. And it would be helpful if, from now on, you told us the whole truth!"
CRISTINA: "This is great. No blood, no guts, no lives to save. It's dead quiet..."
IZZIE: "Cristina!?"
MIRANDA: "Yang, did you really just say that?"
CRISTINA: "Say what?"
GEORGE: "The 'q' word."
IZZIE: "That's like saying 'Macbeth' in the theater."
CRISTINA: "Oh please. You think because someone says its quiet that it will mean…"
"What is it with bikes. Fools on bikes killing themselves. Natural selection is what it is."
RICHARD: "I see you in there."
MIRANDA: "No, you don’t."
RICHARD: "Your husband was discharged over an hour ago."
MIRANDA: "I'm not here."
RICHARD: "Go home. You're not working today. You're on maternity leave."
MIRANDA: [shuts door] "Exactly!"
GEORGE: "You know Joe?"
MIRANDA: "Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me except Joe. He knew me."
GEORGE: "Oh, so you and Joe..."
MIRANDA: "All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You're nasty." [Slaps George] "That's why you got syphilis."
MIRANDA: "Oh come on. All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You're nasty." [slaps George] "That's why you got syphilis."
IZZIE: "Hi! I'm Isobel Stevens, but everyone just calls me Izzie."
MIRANDA: "I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not gonna change."
MIRANDA: [to the interns]: "I may be 47 weeks pregnant and on bed rest. I may not be able to see my own feet. But I AM Dr. Bailey. I hear everything, I know every thing. I’m watching each and every one of you, and I will return."
[to Dr. Webber, who was convinced she was looking at another hospital] "I'm pregnant, you blind moron!"
"Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiney. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freaking Poppins."
