Miranda Hobbes Quotes
Samantha: Well, you better be careful, you wait too long to sleep with someone, you miss the window and become just friends.
Miranda: As opposed to his fucking bitch, his fucking whore.
Carrie: No, what's bad, is that even Charlotte is having more sex that I am.
Miranda: What about Aidan?
Carrie: What about Aidan? I don't know what's going on, clearly he's attracted, we're spending a lot of time together, he keeps asking me out, but he doesn't want to sleep with me.
Samantha: Gay.
Carrie: No, he's not gay.
Miranda: Mother issues?
Carrie: No, I don't think so.
Samantha: Maybe, his dick curves to the right.
Carrie: So, if it does we'll work it out, I'll go left.
Charlotte: Why would he say that?
Samantha: Maybe because...you were fucking him.
Carrie: Well it's true, sweetie, he didn't say it at the dry cleaner's, he said it when he was in you.
Charlotte: Do you think I'm a whore?
Samantha: Oh please, if you're a whore, what does that make me?
(Silence from Miranda and Carrie)
Charlotte: Do you think I'm a whore?
Miranda: Well, you have had a decent amount of bone in you.
Charlotte: This is bad, nobody wants to marry a whore.
Miranda: Bad kissers are the worst.
Carrie: Worst, when it comes to the worst, they're at the top, the top of the worst.
Charlotte: I mean all around my mouth.
Carrie and Miranda: Ewwww!
Charlotte: How do you think I felt? His tongue actually licked my teeth.
Samantha: I don't get it, did he want to fuck you or floss you?
Samantha: Well I am not about to back down to her. That is just not who I am.
Carrie: Yeah Samantha's right. She shouldn't have to sacrifice who she is just because somebody else has a problem with it.
Samantha: Thank you.
Carrie: It's like me with smoking. You know it's too bad that Aidan had a problem with it. But you have to accept people for who they are.
Miranda: Wait, you're choosing cigarettes over a cute guy?
Carrie: He's not that cute.
Miranda: You bought furniture he was so cute.
Carrie: OK, but for him to dump me like that over a little thing like smoking...
Charlotte: Smoking is not a little thing, it's a dirty disgusting habit and you're killing yourself!
Carrie: Thank you, chin.
Charlotte: Really, Carrie, we all hate it. We just put up with it because we love you. Now you have a reason to quit, so quit.
Carrie: You know, I really don't appreciate being ganged up on.
Miranda: Who's ganging up on you?
Carrie: Smoking is a part of who I am. I will quit when I want to quit, and it won't be because some cute guy told me to. Right, Samantha?
Samantha: No, honey. Fighting a battle for Chivon is one thing, but holding on to those nasty cigarettes, well that's just whack.
Miranda: Please tell me she didn't just say whack.
Charlotte: He has these sweet little lips, I thought he would be a good kisser.
Carrie: You see that's the scary thing, you can never tell, they look totally normal.
Miranda: Until their pointy tongue is darting in and out of your mouth.
Carrie: Oh, the stabby little pointy tongue, that is the worst of the worst.
Samantha: No, what's worse, is when they expect you to do all the work, and their tongue just lays there in your mouth like a clam.
Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte: Ewwwww!!
Carrie: Clam mouth, that's the worst!
Samantha: At that point, I say get that thing out of my mouth, put it in a cab and take its lazy ass home.
Charlotte: Maybe you should stop seeing him, race is a very big issue.
Samantha: No, there is no reason to bring race into this, Chivon is a sweet man, we have great sex and he happens to have the biggest....
Charlotte: Black cock, we know, he has a big black cock.
Samantha: I was about to say biggest heart, but now that you're so interested, yes, he does have a big black cock.
Miranda: It's a big Afro-American cock. Right, Charlotte?
Carrie: I have a crush.
Miranda: Um, yea, you haven't had a crush in a while, not since Big.
Carrie: Big wasn't a crush, he was a crash.
Miranda: Steve thinks he's going to win a million dollars.
Carrie: You told me.
Miranda: I guess I have to keep repeating it until I believe it. It's totally illogical, and then he wants me to be all supportive.
Carrie: Well?
Miranda: Well, what? It's a half court shot, there are actual Knicks who can't make it. I would have no trouble supporting him if it was a real dream, like opening his own bar or something, but this is just silly.
Carrie: Isn't that what you couples do, support each other's silly dreams?
Miranda: You're asking me?
Samantha: That is one fine looking man, I would like to get me some of that.
Charlotte: Don't talk like that.
Samantha: Like what?
Charlotte: You know.
Samantha: Oh, relax, with the nicher glibly reaction, that wasn't black talk, that was sex talk.
Charlotte: First, of all, it isn't black talk, it's African American talk, and you should'nt be talking like that at all Samantha, it's rude and politically incorrect.
Carrie: Sweetie, a reminder, Samantha is rude and politically incorrect.
Miranda: She's an equal opportunity offender.
Samantha: Precisely, I don't see colour, I see conquest.
Miranda: Seriously, that's a woman?
Carrie: That's a woman.
Stafford: Look at that bulge, it's shocking
Carrie: Yea, I know, hurry up and look before Guiliani shuts it down.
