Cam: When I was young and straight, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rock star. I'm not proud of it.
Mitchell: You're kinda proud of it, you work it into a lot of conversations.

Hey Cam, I heard a rumor that you keep flashing our guests.

So what you're saying is you have a child shaped hole in your heart and you wanna stuff a cat into it.

Mitchell: I think I'm laying on a rock.
Cam: I'm laying next to mine.

How cool would it be if you turned into Wonder Woman right now?

You can't get fired from a favor!

I haven't been judged by this many people since I forgot my canvas bags at Whole Foods.

Cam: Do you have a better idea, you're the one who lost it!
Mitchell: No, you tossed it. You tossed it, lost it.

Knock it off old man!

Mitchell: I know how important winning is to Claire.
Cam: And I love to festoon things.

Mitchell: Oh my God, there's Sandy.
Cam: Sandra Bullock?
Mitchell: Yeah we're such good friends, I just call her Sandy.

A month after the most devastating twister to ever hit Cam's hometown, I throw a party based on gay cinema's most famous tornado.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Claire