South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralMr. Broflovski Quotes
Gerald Broflovski: Principle Victoria are you aware that my client was being harassed at your school?
Principal Victoria: Well not any more than any other student.
Gerald Broflovski: So you admit that harassment goes on?
Principal Victoria: I don't know.
Gerald Broflovski: You don't know, Your the principal!
Principal Victoria: I can't be around them every second.
Gerald Broflovski: So it does go on!
Principal Victoria: Alright alright i killed him. I hit him over the head and I cut up the body. I tried to burn it but it wouldn't burn. Oh the smell of it. I put the legs in garbage bags and hid the torso under a bridge. I had to do it.
(Principal Victoria starts crying)
Principal Victoria: Oh god!
Gerald Broflovski: Principal Victoria was Eric Cartmen called an a** Sucker yes or no?
Principal Victoria: I believe so yes.
Mrs. Broflovski: How would you boys like to have a little slumber party at your friend Kenny's house tonight?
Cartman: No way, dude, Kenny's family is poor, they live in the ghetto.
Mr. Broflovski: Remember when we built that huge fort in your backyard?
Mr. McKormick: (laughs) Yeah, it took us nearly 2 damn years to finish it. (laughs)
Mr. Broflovski: (laughs) Whatever happened to that old hunk of junk?
Mr. McKormick: (firmly) That's where I live now.
Mrs. Broflovski: Are you sure you stayed over at Kenny's house?
Kyle: Yeah, dude, I told you, we had bread sandwiches for breakfast.
Mrs. Broflovski: Did you sleep in the same room?
Kyle: Yes, why?
Mrs. Broflovski: Bubbe, how would you like to spend the night at your friend Kenny's house again?
Kyle: No way, dude, it sucked ass, they don't even have cable.
Mrs. Broflovski: Well I think you need to spend more time with your friend.
Kyle: Kenny's not really my friend, Ma, I don't give a rat's ass about him.
Mrs. Broflovski: You certainly have a humble home Mrs. McKormick.
Mrs. McKormick: Yeah, well, unfortunately my husband is a washed up hunk of s(beep)t!
Mrs. McKormick: You want some more hot water?
Mrs. Broflovski: Oh, no thank you, it's terrific though. You don't have any tea bags or coffee grounds to go in the hot water do you?
Mrs. McKormick: No, we don't care for any of that hoity-toity rich folk stuff.
Mr. Broflovski: Aren't weekends the best?
Mr. McKormick: When you're unemployed, weekends are meaningless.
Mr. Broflovski: Oh, ri-right, of course.
