Lenny: No, mine was rubber mats in the decontamination showers, also water in the decontamination showers.
Burns: Never!

I appreciate the counsel Simpson, now please trap door yourself out.

I demand to see that capitalism castrating suffragette this instant.

Beware, rabbits. I spy with my transplanted eyes.

Don't pester the rich. I don't hand out candy, you son of a grinch.

Burns: How much for your entire collection?
Comic Book Guy: Um, the speed of light expressed in dollars.
Burns (to Smithers): Just give him Faraday's constant.

Hello, Smithers. Fancy seeing you in casual encounter park.

I insist you never wear shoes or a proper necktie again. Just house slippers and the most humiliating tie there is - bolo.

Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no one can find a job.

Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.

Apu: Mr Burns, just jump into the net!
Mr. Burns: What's in it for me?
Moe: Just jump!

Homer: Oh! This is Eduardo. He's the pool boy. He thinks he's an angry old rich man.
Mr. Burns: I am an angry old rich man!
Homer: (whispers) That's the pool chemicals talking.

The Simpsons Quotes

(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")
Bart: and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept.
All: EWW!!
Bart: We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.
All: EWWWWW!!
Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!
Mrs. Krabappel: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!
Bart: Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in.
(The whole classroom screams)

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!