Lenny: No, mine was rubber mats in the decontamination showers, also water in the decontamination showers.
Burns: Never!

I appreciate the counsel Simpson, now please trap door yourself out.

I demand to see that capitalism castrating suffragette this instant.

Beware, rabbits. I spy with my transplanted eyes.

Don't pester the rich. I don't hand out candy, you son of a grinch.

Burns: How much for your entire collection?
Comic Book Guy: Um, the speed of light expressed in dollars.
Burns (to Smithers): Just give him Faraday's constant.

Hello, Smithers. Fancy seeing you in casual encounter park.

I insist you never wear shoes or a proper necktie again. Just house slippers and the most humiliating tie there is - bolo.

Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no one can find a job.

Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.

Apu: Mr Burns, just jump into the net!
Mr. Burns: What's in it for me?
Moe: Just jump!

Homer: Oh! This is Eduardo. He's the pool boy. He thinks he's an angry old rich man.
Mr. Burns: I am an angry old rich man!
Homer: (whispers) That's the pool chemicals talking.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Bart: Hey, Mom. Did you save Dad's love letters?
Marge: Of course I saved them. Well actually, there's only one. It's more of a love postcard from some brewery he visited.
Homer: Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge. But you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewy pretzels here (undecipherable slurring) five dollars?! Get outta here!
Bart: Wow, the side of Dad I've never seen.