The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXMr. Burns Quotes
Captain McCallister: I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. We'll sail 'round the horn and return with spices and silk the likes of which ye have never seen.
Mr. Burns: We're building a casino!
Captain McCallister: Arrr...can you give me five minutes?
Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose. Hop in.
Smithers: But sure I
(Burns pulls out a gun)
Mr. Burns: I said hop in.
Mr Burns: (holding a miniature wooden plane) Do you see this plane, Smithers? This gonna help us to take the Spruce Goose and take us outta here!
Smithers: Excellent model, sir.
Mr. Burns: Uh, model?
Charlie: Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a real emergency exit!
Mr. Burns: Why, that's a fabulous idea! Anything else you'd like? How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe?
Get back to work, Stuart!
Mr. Burns (<i>to a duck</i>)
Female Department of Labor Officer: This power plant violates every labor law in the book. We found a missing soccer team from Brazil working in the reactor core!
Mr. Burns: That plane crashed on my property!
Smithers: Someone is charging room service to the company, sir.
Mr. Burns: Well, we'll just see about that!
(Mr. Burns walks over to a cage full of winged monkeys and opens it.)
Mr. Burns: Fly, my pretties, fly!
(The monkeys jump out the window, and fall to the ground.)
Mr. Burns: (Sighs) Continue the research.
Labor Inspector: This plant violates every labor law in the book. We found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in your reactor core!
Mr. Burns: That plane crashed on my property!
Brad Goodman: Let me hear what's troubling you. Don't be shy, yell it out. Everybody, go!
Mayor Quimby: I, er, can't commit to a relationship.
Mr. Burns: I'm too nice!
Apu: I have problems with--
Lenny: I'm always interrupting people!
Mr. Burns: And I'm really enjoying this so called...iced cream!
Smithers: Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything I'd just like to say that...I...love...you.
Mr. Burns: Hmm?
Smithers: In those colors!
Mr. Burns: Who's that goat-legged fellow, Smithers? I like the cut of his jib.
Smithers: Prince of Darkness, sir. He's your 11 o'clock.
(Homer puts stake in Mr.Burns)
Homer: Take that!
(Homer hits stake with hammer multiple times)
Lisa: Uh Dad, that's his crotch.
Homer: Oh, Sorry.
(Homer puts stake where the heart and hits it)
Mr. Burns: AAAAAAGH!
(Mr. Burns disentergrates)
Homer: Whoo-hoo!
(Mr. Burns Comes Back Alive)
Mr. Burns: You're Fired!
(Mr. Burns Dies Again)
Homer: D'oh!
