I'm the mother. I decide who gets clubbed. I do the clubbing.

I love that you sleep all the time - I know mother's aren't supposed to say that, but i do.

Shane: But you're glad I did it.
Nancy: I'm glad it was done - not by you. Don't smile.

(as Shane's punishment) No more sugar for you.

Nancy: I saved you - how about a thank you.
Audra: How about a fuck you, bitch.

Nancy: You're underage, thankfully.
Shane: I think I've earned it.
Nancy: You've gone off the deep end.
Shane: Deep end - get it.

Nancy: Shane - Don't let go of that stick thing.
Shane: It's called a mallet.

If you come anywhere near my children, I'll kill you myself.

Shane: Do you ever go back to right after dad died and wish you could do things differently?
Nancy: I try not to.
Shane: I do. All the time.

Andy: What is the glue that holds your relationship together?
Nancy: I don't even need the choices on this one. I'm gonna say Elmer's.

I screwed up my kids.

Nancy: I think I'm happy for you.
Andy: I think I'm happy for you, too.

Weeds Quotes

I'm the suburban baroness of bud, Nancy.

Nancy Botwin

You've made your bed, now f**k in it.

Nancy Botwin