Be the baby!

Nancy: Why is the bed moving?
Andy: There must be an earthquake.
Nancy: Are you jerking off?!?

Esteban: Our son will be baptized by a priest in a church
Nancy: Sorry, he's Jewish. Snip, snip. Eat fish. Start saving for law school

Pilar: Do you know why I've never had children?
Nancy: Because you'd eat them and children are super fattening?

Andy: Esteban seems like the type to just throw you on the table and f-ck you.
Nancy: That works, too.
Andy: See, we'd never have worked. I'm not rape-y enough for you.

Andy, on his sexual technique: The key is to focus on where the sidewalk ends.
Nancy: I know. I'm a girl.

Come and see me. Hope you're good. And please don't have a scraggly moonshiner beard unless you plan on starting a cult. In which case, go beard

Nancy: You're guzzling coffee?
Shane: Ignacio says it puts hair on you chest
Nancy: Right and spinach gives you instant muscles and an anchor tattoo

Nancy [talking about the ring from Esteban]: You notice anything different? about my hand?
Shane: Oh yeah. he said he was going to ask you.
Nancy: He told you?
Shane: We had an hombre to hombre talk... much respect... I'm cool

Shane: You stuck your penis inside my mother at least once.
Nancy: Ok, then. Good night, Shane. Go upstairs.

Nancy [about Sucio]: Is it too much to ask him to shower?
Cesar: He's comfortable with his man smell, live with it

Nancy: If something happens to me, you'll take care of this for Silas and Shane
Dean: If something happens? Where you going, skydiving?
Nancy: None of your business. Just make sure it all gets taken care of. I'm counting on you
Dean: Out of curiousity and of coruse self image, why me?
Nancy: Cause I trust you. Cause you're a parent. Cause you're the only person i could find on such short notice