(Before the championship miniature golf match, the Flanders family pray together.)
Homer: Hey, Flanders, it's no use praying. I already did the same thing, and we can't both win.
Ned: Actually, Simpson, we were praying that no one gets hurt!
Homer: Oh, well, Flanders, it doesn't matter. This time tomorrow you'll be wearing high heels.
Ned: Nope. You will.
Homer: 'Fraid not.
Ned: 'Fraid so.
Homer: 'Fraid not!
Ned: 'Fraid so!
Homer: 'Fraid not, infinity!
Ned: 'Fraid so, infinity plus one!
Homer: D'oh!

Just as I feared, her Buddhism has led directly to witchcraft.

Flanders [about Lisa]

I'm not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?

Rod: We thought you were gonna die.
Tod: And then Uncle Kevin would have to raise us.
Rod: And his funny friend, David.
Ned Flanders: Oh I'd put rocks in your pocket and walk you out to sea for before I'd let that happen.

The Simpsons Quotes

(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")
Bart: and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept.
All: EWW!!
Bart: We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.
All: EWWWWW!!
Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!
Mrs. Krabappel: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!
Bart: Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in.
(The whole classroom screams)

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!