The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXNelson Muntz Quotes
Nelson: Here, take this. (Hands Bart an oxygen tank)
Bart: Where'd you get this?
Nelson: Off some dude.
(We see a dead scuba diver)
I like to come up here and make fun of the sunset. Hey gas ball! You suck!
Ha, Ha! I touched your heart!
</i> Nelson
Nelson: Bart where are you going? I saved you a seat, best friend.
Lisa: Ha-ha!
(Nelson finds out Michael's dad is Fat Tony.)
Nelson: Your dad's a mob boss? (Laughs nervously) Please don't have me whacked! I was just kiddin' around! We were all havin' fun. Wasn't it fun? (Laughs nervously) Oh, fun is so fun. (Laughs nervously) There is no Mafia!
(Nelson pulls his own shirt over his face.)
Nelson: Columbus Day is better than Christmas!
I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.
</i> Nelson
Nelson: (to Washington Post reporter) Haw-haw! Your medium is dying!
Principal Skinner: Nelson!
Nelson: But it is.
Principal Skinner: There's being right and there's being nice.
Homer: Sweetie, will you please look at daddy!
Lisa: You stopped being my daddy when you bet against me! All I have now is a mom. That's why I'm taking her maiden name. So from now on, my name is Lisa Bouvier!
(Homer gasps)
Nelson: Hey, Mr. S. Lisa B.
Homer: Nooo!
Girl: Would you like to buy some band candy?
Homer: Yeees!
(From "It's the Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse")
Millhouse: Who wants to sing pumpkin carols?!
Nelson: I got a pumpkin carol for you! (clears throat, singing to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas") You are such a stupid moron! It makes people want to punch you! The Grand Pumpkin's super gaaaaaay! Punch, punch, punch, punch, wedgie!
(Nelson gives Milhouse four punches and a wedgie)
Nelson: Touch me and I'll cut your friend.
The Grand Pumpkin: What do I care? That's a yellow pumpkin.
Nelson: You're a racist!
The Grand Pumpkin: All pumpkins are racist. The difference is that I admit it. (starts eating Nelson)
Nelson: I'd rather die than hate!
After NAFTA, a lot of these jobs went to the South Pole.
My mom ran off with my birthday clown!
