I am in a chair, not sure how good I'd be in a fight. This thing tips over in a stiff wind.

Mike: (referencing the night Monique was killed) What do you think the police would say if they knew you were there that night?
Orson: What do you think they would say if they knew you threw me off a roof?

Orson: The hotel number is on the fridge in case there's a problem.
Andrew: Actually, we kind of already have a problem.
Orson: I'm already late for my flight, can this problem wait a few weeks till we're back?
Andrew: Yes, it can wait a few weeks. I mean, heck, this can wait... nine months.
Orson: (looks at Danielle, who looks worried)Oh, Lord.

Mike: Was that proposal spontaneous or did you have it all planned?
Ian: Oh, it was entirely planned. I thought it would be the ideal occasion.
Mike: If it was planned why didn't you have a ring?
Ian: Well, I thought Susan might like to choose a ring herself.
Mike: So, why did she pick a ring that was too big for her?
Ian: How did you know that?
Tom: Guys, guys, guys, we came here to play cards, so why are we talking about jewelery?
Mike: Sorry Tom, but I just found out I bought a ring for Susan myself. It was in my pocket that night some son of a bitch ran me over.
Orson: Ahm, Tom's right, we should focus on the game.
Mike: After our talk I called the hospital. They said my ring got in with your wife's stuff. So you saw it before I did. The same day you proposed to Susan.
Ian: And your point is?
Mike: That that's why you were in such a big hurry. You wanted to seal the deal before I found out about the ring and told her.
Ian: Do you think I'm afraid of you?
Mike: Maybe you should be. What do you think Susan would say if she found out your proposal was so spontaneous?

I had sex with Alma and I wasn't even conscious? How reminiscent of our marriage...

Alma: We should've kept trying. If we had a child, we'd still be together.
Orson: I know. That's why I stopped trying. Goodbye Alma.

Orson: I won't and you can't make me.
Alma: Can't? That drink I gave you had two kinds of pills in it -- one to put you to sleep and one to keep the part of you I need nice and perky.

Orson: She kissed me goodbye, what was I supposed to do slug her?
Bree: You went over there to read her the riot act, instead it looked like you were reading her a bedtime story.

Bree: I try to hold my head up and smile and just bake more pies for the church social. But now your ex is camped out on our doorstep like I'm hosting some kind of morman slumber party. And I do not know how I'm going to bake my way out of this one!
Orson: Darling, I'm gonna get Alma out of that house. I don't care if I'll have to live up to my reputation and strangle her!
Bree: (with great relief) Oh, you are a good husband...

Gloria: You think you could be rid of me that easily?
Orson: It's over mother, I told her everything.
Gloria: Oh, I doubt that very much. You still have secrets my boy.
Orson: So do you mother, and if you want them kept, you'll keep mine.

Bree: You cannot let your mother move into this neighborhood. It's filled with junkies and whores.
Orson: And we'll owe them all an apology.

Orson: Mother, may I remind you you asked to come here?
Gloria: I didn't know I would be trading one jail for another. At least at the home you could smuggle things in but here nothing gets past the commandant. (looks at Bree)