Orson Hodge Quotes
I don't care, my mother's not moving in here until she fits in a jar on the mantle.
Bree: Now you listen to me. That woman gave you life, and the Fifth Commandment tells us to honor our parents no matter how hideous or repellent they may be.
Orson: That's not exactly what...
Bree: Orson, it's implied!
Bree: Orson, if you have a moment, there is something I would like your thoughts on.
Orson: Certainly. What is it? The menu for our Holiday open house?
Bree: No, it's a police report from the night you beat your first wife. I'm still working on the menu.
(Orson is explaining to Bree that it was an accident what it said about Alma on the police report)
Bree: By the way, to remove a red wine stain, you sprinkle salt to absorb it.
Orson: That's just what I was saying to Alma when she clocked me!
Orson: When Andrew was on the street, he...uh...he didn't just beg for money. At times he...well, he did things to earn it.
Bree: Well, good. I mean, I'd hate to think he had no work ethic at all.
Orson: What I mean is, men hired him...uh...to do things...things he wasn't very proud of.
Bree: Yardwork?
Orson: 'Fraid not.
Bree: Orson, you're scaring me. Did he do something awful?
Orson: No, no. Not awful. People do it all the time. I do it with you. I just don't pay you for it. (Bree's jaw drops and she gasps) I think someone could use some cocoa.
Bree: Some reporter. All she could tell me was what neighborhood they found him in. They don't have any contact information, no phone number, no address.
Orson: If he had an address, he would not be homeless.
(On the airport after Bree saw a report on TV about homeless teenagers)
Orson: Bree, what's the matter?
Bree: A reporter just did a story on homeless teens, and my son was one of them.
Orson: Oh, my God. Well, we'll call child welfare the minute we get to the resort.
Bree: Orson, you can't imagine that we're still going!
Orson: Darling, the tickets are nonrefundable.
Bree: My son is eating out of dumpsters!
Orson: Yes, but think how much better you'll be able to deal with this crisis after a nice, relaxing...
Bree: Orson! My child is in trouble. Don't make me choose between the two of you, because believe me, you will lose.
(to Andrew) . I know about rage. I know how it eats you up. But rage goes away, and when it does, you're just left with the mess you've made.
(to dead body) "Tu me manques, Monique" ("I Miss You Monique").
Bree: Excuse me. Did you lose something?
Orson: No. I just thought... for you.
Bree: Oh, um. I don't do that.
Orson: Why not?
Bree: I'm a republican.
Orson: I'm a libertarian. I believe in minimizing the role of the state and maximizing individual rights.
Bree: But Orson?!
Orson: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
