Paris Geller Quotes
Paris: Okay, has everyone finished reading?
Louise: Oh, are we reading these now?
Rory: That's why we've all been kind of quiet for the last ten minutes.
Louise: I thought it was like, prayer time or whatever.
I'd better get going. I'm going to break out in rash any second.
Debate moderator: Chilton has won the coin toss so they will pick pro or con on assisted suicide.
Paris: Pro
Brad: What a shock!
Paris: According to the rules, we're not supposed to have dairy forty-eight hours before the debate. Did you eat any dairy today?
Rory: The milk in my cereal?
Paris: WHAT?!
Lorelai: Rory, your dad's on the phone.
Rory: Okay! (Takes phone)
Paris: (To Lorelai) Did you give her the milk?
Lorelai: Uh, I'd rather not say.
Lorelai: Hello, Paris. Were we expecting you?
Paris: You should have been!
The Oppenheimer Award for Excellence in school journalism is not a contest. It's a statement. It says you're the best. The best writers, the best reporters, the best editors. It says that you have crushed all others who have dared to take you on. It says that every other single school in the United States of America is feeling nothing but shame and defeat and pain because of the people who won the Oppenheimer plaque. I wanna be those people, I wanna cause that pain.
Paris: Hey, where'd he come from? What's up there? Is that where you keep the girls? You got yourself a little cat house up there?
Jess: Wow, I think she got you Uncle Luke. You better give up now.
Luke: Do not add to this insanity.
Jess: An innocent boy like me should not be raised in an atmosphere like this.
Luke: Jess!
Jess: I wanna be good, life's just not letting me.
Well, the worst that can happen is that I spend some time in your town and suddenly have an urge to enter a pie in the county fair.
Paris: We're going to reveal the seedy underbelly of small towns -- starting with yours.
Rory: Stars Hollow does not have a 'seedy underbelly'. We don't even have a meter maid.
Paris: (confronting Tristan about the fact that he showed up at the group meeting) What do you think you're doing?
Tristan: Uh, Professor Anderson forgot to include me when she made up the groups, so she told me to pick one.
Paris: Fine, you have four other acts to choose from. Take your pick.
Tristan: Yeah, well Summer's in Act 1, Beth and Jessica are in Act 2, Kate's in Act 3, and uh, Claire, Kathy, and Mary are in Act 4. So, this is the only one free of ex-girlfriends.
Paris: So we're being punished for our good taste?
(to Rory) You're Juliet. You're the best public speaker here, you've definitely got the waif thing down, and you'll look great dead.
Well anyone who hangs out with Butch Cassidy and the Sun-dunce kid deserve whatever they get.
